Mondays are my day 'off'. I use that term lightly as I still have Evie home with me but one child is easier than three right
So today, after a hectic weekend in London, we slabbed and cleaned and had a pretty boring day. Part of that was watching loose women ( a rather rubbish chats how hosted by a bunch of semi famous ladies) whilst Evie napped. They started a campaign called Lighten the load. It's a great idea, encouraging people, both men and women, to let go of whatever is bothering them and to seek help. Each day they aim to talk about different topics ie postnatal depression. But the overall idea is that we get rid of the stigma of feeling bad about ourselves over things we have no control over. I've been thinking about it on and off all day. I guess because we all have secrets or worries or things that we don't feel able to share to any or many people. It doesn't matter what the reasons are, it is how it is. But I think the premise is right. ..a problem shared is a problem halved. And even if that feeling only lasts 10 minutes, isn't it worth it. Maybe? Maybe not? I understand it's a personal decision and I'm not here to tell anyone how to live etc.
I've struggled with something for 6 years now. I have a kind of arthritis called psoriasis arthritis. It hurts a lot. Like, a lot. I don't have it all the time. You can't really see it. And I feel absolute stupid whenever I moan or complain because if I go to the Dr at the wrong time of day it's not there. If I try to explain it sounds like I make it up. It took 2 years to find someone who believed me after I took photos of my swollen limbs at their worst.
The reason I tell you this is because every so often it sends me into a thought process that is not in my control. I doubt my pain because I feel that others doubt me. I doubt people are genuine if they express any kind of understanding. I hate the way it hurts so much sometimes that I can't play with my children. I get annoyed by how expensive and ugly shoes are that will help my feet. I get frustrated that the medicine I can take has me having blood tests every 3 -6 weeks. And then I get a break from the pain and I'm tricked into thinking I'm recovered and then bam!! It's back and I have to convince people all over again. I find myself sometimes in a downward spiral over something so little as arthritis. People have lost loved ones, had cancer, lost babies etc.. and I moan over this.
My point is this. Lightening the load isn't restricted to death. Or illness. Or marriage issues. Or arthritis. Or anything. One load can differ from another at any given moment. And that's OK. It doesn't make your load any less important. As I watched this programme I realised that it's OK to feel like this. And it's OK to talk. And if nothing else, its OK to not feel alone in it anymore.
I know it's a random post but sometimes that's ok!
So today, after a hectic weekend in London, we slabbed and cleaned and had a pretty boring day. Part of that was watching loose women ( a rather rubbish chats how hosted by a bunch of semi famous ladies) whilst Evie napped. They started a campaign called Lighten the load. It's a great idea, encouraging people, both men and women, to let go of whatever is bothering them and to seek help. Each day they aim to talk about different topics ie postnatal depression. But the overall idea is that we get rid of the stigma of feeling bad about ourselves over things we have no control over. I've been thinking about it on and off all day. I guess because we all have secrets or worries or things that we don't feel able to share to any or many people. It doesn't matter what the reasons are, it is how it is. But I think the premise is right. ..a problem shared is a problem halved. And even if that feeling only lasts 10 minutes, isn't it worth it. Maybe? Maybe not? I understand it's a personal decision and I'm not here to tell anyone how to live etc.
I've struggled with something for 6 years now. I have a kind of arthritis called psoriasis arthritis. It hurts a lot. Like, a lot. I don't have it all the time. You can't really see it. And I feel absolute stupid whenever I moan or complain because if I go to the Dr at the wrong time of day it's not there. If I try to explain it sounds like I make it up. It took 2 years to find someone who believed me after I took photos of my swollen limbs at their worst.
The reason I tell you this is because every so often it sends me into a thought process that is not in my control. I doubt my pain because I feel that others doubt me. I doubt people are genuine if they express any kind of understanding. I hate the way it hurts so much sometimes that I can't play with my children. I get annoyed by how expensive and ugly shoes are that will help my feet. I get frustrated that the medicine I can take has me having blood tests every 3 -6 weeks. And then I get a break from the pain and I'm tricked into thinking I'm recovered and then bam!! It's back and I have to convince people all over again. I find myself sometimes in a downward spiral over something so little as arthritis. People have lost loved ones, had cancer, lost babies etc.. and I moan over this.
My point is this. Lightening the load isn't restricted to death. Or illness. Or marriage issues. Or arthritis. Or anything. One load can differ from another at any given moment. And that's OK. It doesn't make your load any less important. As I watched this programme I realised that it's OK to feel like this. And it's OK to talk. And if nothing else, its OK to not feel alone in it anymore.
I know it's a random post but sometimes that's ok!
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