Broken...literally

It all started out as a wonderful day. We dropped Joshy off to school and them Sam and Evie and I decided to explore a new area about 5 minutes from our home. We found a cute little park that ticked all our 'musts' a park should have. A surrounding fence so no dogs can get in. Quiet/empty so that they don't get pushed and shoved around, and a  few things to climb on and explore. We don't expect much. Sam loved it and was proud of his new climbing skills he had apparently been using. 
We were excited to collect Joshy and take him there. So after school we told him all about it and headed there. He too loved it. There is a cool sswi get which zooms around  which he could hang on. A wobbly bridge, a crazy roundabout, all of which were new to them. And a slide.  A small, average slide. The boys climbed and slid and we're playing happily throwing a ball around. They had already declared this park as their favourite...the swings had made that decision easy.
Inlay down on the grass for 5 minutes whilst Evie chambered on me. She has been so poorly this week that I was enjoying the smiles that she was giving me. I sent a message of glee to my sister in law rejoicing in the weather and the glory of the new Park.
Then it happened.
I heard him cry and literally was scared to look up. I knew straight off that he'd done something. Gut. Mothers intuition. The different cry. I'm not sure what to be honest but I knew some part of him was broken.  He'd only jumped off the bottom of the slide. The apparatus that he was used to more than the others. He'd jumped off the very end but to avoid a collision with his baby sister. He's such a kind boy. The first words out of his mouth were
'Mummy, I've broken my arm'.
I resisted the urge to say I know, as well as the urge to say no you haven't.  I was also amazed by how calm I was. Usually im an 'you'll be OK, kiss it better, off you go' person.  But this time we just sat. He couldn't move. He went white.  He sobbed but didn't scream.  A tell tale sign that it was bad. I made a sling out of my Cardigan. ..I was impressed I remembered vaguely how to do it. He quite enjoyed it too. I had a 'maybe he's fine' moment followed by 'I know I need to get him checked out'.
I dosed him up and as soon as David came home we headed to A&E.
We love the NHS.
His x-ray showed 2 breaks. Elbow and forearm. We are now sat in the children's hospital awaiting surgery to repair the mess the stupid slide in the stupid new Park caused.
Joshy is a trooper (a storm one apparently). I however, am not. There is nothing I've experienced so far that is worse than watching your children in pain. Samuel with croup, Evie with countless infections. All involved a hospital stay. But this...this tops it. He's not poorly, he's broken. Anti biotic medicine doesn't help. He's in a lot of pain and most likely due to be in more. His heart aches because he wants to draw and write and sword fight....his 3 favourite things to do. He is desperate to 'be fixed'. It breaks my heart that he sees himself as unable, broken, ruined. These are his words not mine.
I know he will recover. But right now he can't see that. He's not a TV boy. He likes to move and draw. It's not going to be easy. It's his right hand. His doing hand.
We all are going to have to adjust to his new cast from shoulder to finger tips. But right now, I have to adjust to seeing my boy in a hospital bed feeling sad and there is very little I can do about it.