The Paterson Family: Happy Turtles... the memory!

It started off as a normal working day. Actually, that is a bit of a lie. That week had felt different. My mindset had started to change a little, as if i knew something wasn't quite right. I pride myself on having a good 'gut feeling' but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. I had even applied for another job but with absolutely no intention of ever leaving this one. It was just because something felt different. We all worked as hard, loved as hard, dreamed as hard. We had our weaknesses but as a staff family we were trying constantly to improve and get better. And then WHAM...all of a sudden we weren't opening anymore. The company ran out of money. It was as simple as that. I was told, and i 100% believe, that the owners had done everything they could to save the business but it just wasn't possible. So, Friday 13th...how typical and boring is that...was in fact, the worst day... I don't know if I can say 'of my life'...my life isn't yet over and plus, I have also been through some pretty horrible stuff before. But, it certainly is up there. Why though...well a week later I am still trying to figure it out. I'm not sure I will get there for a while. But there are a few things I have learnt so far that I thought I would share:

1. Being kind is an active choice!

'Be kind' is something that is said too flippantly in my opinion. It is only really when you have a choice that it becomes suddenly real. Most of the time we are kind, or at least trying to be kind. But when placed in a position where you have every right to be mad, hold grudges and to cause damage (mentally, emotionally or occupationally...i'm not sure that's the word to use), it is an active choice to not be or do any of those things. That is real kindness. And...(and this is massive)... it may be a decision that you have to make over and over and over again. For various reasons. Maybe because its so hard to get over. Maybe because you see there is no point in being so upset or angry...what will it accomplish?!. Maybe just because it is the right thing to do. That doesn't make it easy at all. But it does makes it easier for the person you are being kind too. And if they don't appreciate that, that's OK. Because being kind is about you and your reaction to a situation. their response to that is out of your control.

2. When you have a job, make the most of it...you can grow to love it!

I was only in this job for two years. The first year was really rough and hard. The second year fulfilled a lot of goals for me and made me the happiest I have ever been! But it didn't come easy. In fact, it was the total opposite. I believe that in a job working with children, it's all or nothing. Those children need the best of you and if you don't commit to it, it won't work out very well. To say I put my everything into it would by no means be an understatement. I LOVED my job. More importantly, when it was really rough and bumpy...I still worked hard. And I grew and I learned... more about myself I think. My experience of working at Happy Turtles is nothing but good. That doesn't mean it was easy all the time. It was actually hectic and should have come with a health warning. But it told me that perseverance really pays of and that to accomplish anything, you must put in everything.

3. Love the people you work with!

No matter what! That doesn't mean agree with them, don't ever fall out with them or 'hang out all the time' with them. Just love them. Believe in them. Listen to them. Actually be interested in them. I guess this could go for anyone you meet in life. But I think its more important for those you work with. I'm a sucker for loyalty and trust. I'm also aware that apparently, not everyone feels the same. And after a while of questioning that, I came to a decision that that is OK. That I can still live those things I believe. And actually, what I found was that people responded to it and liked being trusted and started to return the loyalty. Maybe not all the time but definitely more than they used to.Anyway, I divert...back to Love!

If there is something I have learnt the past year its that loving someone doesn't have to be a romantic thing. Its the small, simple, everyday things. In my work place it was helping with the planning, getting a cuppa ready, reminding people to do something, being a shoulder to cry on, recognising someones facial expressions, putting someones slippers on the radiator, covering a shift, doing a car share, buying delicious treats to cheer people up...a whole host of things. Love and service takes place over time. with the occasional 'I just bloody love you' thrown on it there! Loving your team makes work so much easier!

4. Its OK to be sad...for however long you want!

If there is only one of these things to take away, its this one. Its OK to be sad. When things made a massive turn just one week ago, my world came tumbling down. Not literally, obviously, but it felt like it. My heart hurt(s). My eyes hurt from so many tears falling from them. My mind is constantly spinning because it doesn't know what to think. Not just because I lost a job. Because it is just a job and I am confident I can get another one of those.

But because I lost a part of me. Something I gave a huge part of me to. Somewhere that became my second home. Somewhere I dreamt of working for possibly a very long time. With people who I grew to genuinely love and more importantly, who I watched grow and develop and love me in return. With families that were getting to know me and trust me and want to work with me. With children that could give the best hugs, at the perfect time and were in the midst of recognising just how much I loved them and helping me to learn through them. With a manager who trained me and helped me, believed in me and taught me how to love. The world was my oyster. And now its not. And that makes me sad. But that's OK. Because I am very slowly learning, that its exactly that love and that kindness and that commitment, that moulds us and helps us realise what is important. So be sad, whilst being kind. Be sad whilst finding something else to commit to. Be sad whilst you find others to love. Because I believe that one day...maybe soon, maybe way off in the future, it will all be worthwhile!

I found these random pictures i used for uni work...Ill just leave them here :)